30 Days + 5 Months + 3 Weeks + 3 Days
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I woke up at 4 a.m. with a pounding headache yesterday. I was out of Advil and unable to find more than one generic ibuprofen in my parents’ medicine cabinet. This headache-turned-neck AND headache lasted 36 hours, even after my special trip to the store for my over-the-counter drug of choice.
It wasn’t pretty.
As someone who suffered from frequent headaches since a very young age due to medical issues, a random throbbing isn’t normally cause for too much concern. They’re as common as weekend-ruining pimples in my world.
However, I happened upon one of THREE copies of Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life in this house the other day. I saw this particular old school copy on the front steps underneath my travel CD case and an important business card. I’m not sure why mom lumped it with my things. Was it a hint? Or did she just want me to carry it up to the spare bedroom where all of her New Age-y books are?
I grabbed the pile and noticed on the binding that the author was Louise Hay. I thought, hmm…I’ve seen her on “Oprah”! Folks, I’m an Oprah fan and I’m not ashamed to admit it. The woman’s got serious inspirational, power-punching mojo.
Ms. Hay’s book is a New York Times Best Seller she wrote all the way back in 1984, though it’s now gone through several reprintings. It’s largely based on metaphysics (related to the growing interest of the Law of Attraction, or LoA as I’ll refer to it).
In my Old Twenty days I probably would’ve dismissed this book, but I’ve read several books and articles on the LoA over the last few years and found them all very interesting and even temporarily life altering. What hope there is in believing that you can completely change your life with simple thoughts or a piece of poster board plastered with cut-outs of beach houses and Brad Pitt! Unfortunately due to the challenging and rigid thought processes I usually fall back into old habits pretty quickly, therefore sabotaging any real, long-term experiment to see if it really works.
Lately, though, with all that’s been happening with my family and in my personal and professional life, I found myself thinking about the LoA a lot and BOOM! There was this random book on my “stuff to take up the stairs” pile. Too. Weird.
It turns out this copy was left by my mom’s best friend who just sold her house and moved to a Yoga-centered Intentional Community last Friday. Hence why it was resting on said stairs. I had no idea mom had two copies of her own, as I never heard of the book before. Apparently one is on one of the coffee tables and the other is on its way to my sister (she requested it from mom weeks ago!).
The past few days I felt like a true cult member—I mean, convert!
LoA, despite my concern you may send me to the looney bin and/or poor house with all the positivity, mantras, and meditations you want me to execute, I will follow you no matter how annoying I am to everyone and everything! I love myself and blah-blah abundance and…
…then I woke up with that darn headache. A headache worse than one I’ve had in months.
In the book Louise Hay states:
“I believe we create every so called “illness” in our body. The body, like everything else in life, is a mirror of our inner thoughts and beliefs. The body is always talking to us, if we will only take the time to listen. Every cell within your body responds to every singe thought you think and every word you speak.”
This is hard to swallow. However, when I looked up headaches it says:
“Invalidating the self. Self-criticism. Fear.”
Hmm. Hard to swallow…and strangely true. Those three things are probably the biggest invisible demons on my back, so to speak. I envision my demons as animated Disney creatures, ugly, yet cute, that can be turned to “good demons” that smile and happy dance after a little second act soul shuffling.
I don’t know yet if I believe everything in the book. I mean, does everyone with an ingrown toenail really have guilt about their right to move forward? And is my dad’s cancer a result of deep hurt and resentment?
What I do know is that various negative patterns of thinking I seem to hold on to need to change. Like, “guys are assholes” and “getting a good writing-related job is impossible.” It’s not too crazy to believe that perhaps those attitudes aren’t quite helping things…and help is a light word for what we all need about now…
